Types of SM Play

SM Play means a lot of different things to different people. Before going much further into SM101 topics, perhaps we should take a look at a few of the various types of SM play. (Just keep in mind that just because someone is into SM that they are going to enjoy any or all the actives mentioned.)

It would be virtually impossible to produce a list of every type of play, every fetish, every activity. The following will be limited to a few of the major types of activities more common amongst those into SM.

Bondage

Bondage is, perhaps, one of the most common elements of SM play. It can be something as simple as putting someone in handcuffs. Or, it can be more elaborate, such as an intricate rope-harness system, being hog-tied, or tied spread eagle. The various types of bondage are infinite.

To most, but not necessarily all, bondage is one of the first steps in a more elaborate scene. Once someone is in bondage, an entirely different type of activity will start to take place. One of the most common misconceptions people have about SM is that anything following bondage will be some sort of pain-play. While painful play is one option, it is one option of many. Other possibilities include sensual play (such as touching, tickling, massage, playing with feathers or other non-painful objects) or traditional vanilla (aka, not kinky) activities. To some people, bondage is a required element of the sexual fantasy. These are people who receive some sort of pleasure simply from the act of being placed into bondage, or in doing it to someone else. At other times, it can be a necessary (or an unnecessary) element of the scene. For example, bondage is a common element in flogging scenes (I'll explain flogging in a bit, don't worry) even if neither of the participants feels anything during that act - and yet it is important for matters of safety, mindset, or any number of other factors. There are many reasons or purposes for bondage. As I stated above, for some people, the act of bondage is an important element of the fantasy. These people crave the bondage for their own satisfaction. To others, it is important to help either party reach a certain mindset. For the top, having the bottom in bondage (or, for the bottom, being in bondage) will trigger a certain mental or psychological reaction that is either part of the fantasy or scene. Safety is another concern. As with the flogging example listed above, restricting the movements of the person being flogged will help ensure that they do not move in unexpected ways which could have an impact on other various aspects of the scene. Should the person being flogged move, the flogger may hit them in an unexpected and possibly damaging way. Another possibility for the safety argument is what would happen if the person being tied up reaches some level of sub-space or euphoria. Should they become disoriented, the last thing you want them to do is fall over and break their necks.

Mummification

Mummification is just another form of bondage. During a mummification scene, the person will be wrapped (rather like a mummy in the old horror movies) with anything ranging from saran wrap, duct tape, theatrical gaffer's tape, ace bandages (if you have enough of them), rubber strips, etc. (If you use something sticky like duct tape, most people will agree that it is wise to first wrap the person in something like a cheap bedroom sheet. There are two reasons for this. First, chances are pretty good that you're going to have to cut the person out of it, and this will protect them from being cut along with the tape. Second, and maybe the most obvious ... the tape will stick to the skin or body hairs and be extremely painful when you have to get them out. Some people may also have an allergic type reaction to the glue on the tape, so this will prevent them from having to explain why there is a rash covering their entire body from the neck down.)

One question may people have about mummification is ... once someone is mummified, what's next? Well, believe it or not, there's many possibilities. Some people get such satisfaction (or even a sense of euphoria) from being mummified that nothing else really needs to happen. A good top will check up with them every so often to make sure any body parts aren't going cold or numb, as these are signs that the blood flow is restricted, which could be potentially harmful. Another possibility is that the mummified person may be overheated or may need to end the experience for any number of factors such as the need to use the restroom or to get some fresh air or any number of possibilities.

Suspension

Suspension is simply a bondage scene where the bottom is hung, rather than resting on a stable surface. As with all bondage, but especially with suspension bondage, great care needs to be taken to ensure the safety of the bottom. A normal bar harness, for example, would not be recommended during a suspension scene, however you can get a suspension harness which has been designed more for this purpose.

Role Playing

Another common element of SM play is role-playing, and once again the options are endless. This can be a simple fantasy such as coach and athlete, cop and robber, lawyer and jailbird, boss and employee, big brother and little brother, model and photographer, cable repairman, deliveryman, milkman... as I said, the possibilities are endless. Or, the role playing may be of a more complex nature, such as Master and slave (or servant), Dom and sub, or others. Usually, the role-play contains elements of some fantasy of one (or hopefully both) of the participants.

When engaging in any type of role playing, it's often wise to communicate with your partner to make certain you know where the boundaries of the role playing are. Also, keep in mind that many will change from person to person, and most good people will certainly tell you what it is they do or do not like.

Master & slave

The Role Playing scene most people think about (when it comes to SM) is that of the Master and Slave. This can either be for one scene only (or only for a partial scene) or it can be a permanent lifestyle. However, the Master and slave relationship shouldn't be confused with any other Dom and sub relationships. Too many times, a Dom and sub relationship will call itself Master and slave for any number of potential reasons. This can lead only to confusion.

The Master and slave relationship isn't as common as some people may think. While the basic principles of complete submission (or, complete Dominance) may sound very appealing to many people, the reality is that it takes a certain type of person to enter this type of relationship or situation. Under the surface are issues such as trust, responsibility, dependence or independence. In a Master and slave relationship, the slave will submit fully to the Master. The sexual needs and fantasies of the slave become immaterial, except for the fantasy to completely surrender to the Master. The Master has complete and total control. In permanent Master and slave relationships, everything of the slave's becomes the property of the Master. This includes everything. Period. Possessions. Finances. Even the slave's body becomes property of the Master. Most submissives and boys are, quite frankly, unwilling or unable to give up their sexual fantasies or desires, their complete control, their identities - everything over to the Master as he surrenders. (As I said, these relationships are rather rare.)

Doms and subs

Doms and subs are, to various degrees, perhaps the most common type of relationship within the SM community. While they may seem similar to (and are often confused with) Master and slave relationships, they are quite different in nearly every aspect.

One of the most common misperceptions is that the Dom is the person in control. To a very limited extent, it is. The only control is in how the Dom plays the game. His focus will have something to do with the fantasies and desires of the sub. I can't say that there is an equal exchange, but I can say the exchange is complimentary. The submissive party will give a somewhat conditional control to the Dominant party. The submissive does keep a certain amount of control. He has the power to stop the situation by telling the Dom to stop or by screaming the safeword (or using some other symbol should he be gagged, such as shaking his head no or rapping a certain pattern with his hands). The submissive person will have boundaries or limits of types of activities he finds acceptable. If the Dominant party controls how the game is played, it is the submissive party who sets the rules.

Daddies and boys

To many people, the Dom and sub relationship is exactly the same as the Daddy and boy relationship. To others, the relationships are similar, but not the same.

The difference, some people will tell you, is that the Daddy and boy relationships follow a more family oriented structure. There is often an age difference, either in the physical ages of the individuals involved, and/or in mentality. (In other words, the boy will act like a younger person while the Daddy will act more like a more mature one.)Many boys will enter into such a relationship when they are still fairly new to the SM community. They are often the type of boy who is wanting to learn as much as possible about SM play and is looking not only for a play partner, but also a mentor or teacher. They can often find everything they need in such relationships.

Animal Training

Simply put, animal training is simply a scene or fantasy (or a full time relationship) in which the submissive partner assumes the role of a specific animal. Within the gay community, this is mainly seen as some form of Dog Training (there are even national dog-boy show contests) while I see more Pony training with the heterosexual lifestyles. In fact, one excellent example of Pony Training is from Anne Rice's The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy.

I have personally seen very few people who assume animal roles in full time situations. That is not to say, however, that it doesn't happen. It is much more common for a submissive person to temporarily assume animal roles, either during training or play, or more for show (like during a dungeon party or an evening at the bar.) In some cases, all that is needed is that the person assuming the animal role to follow certain behavior patterns, such as staying off the furniture, walking on all fours (supporting themselves by their ankles and knees), or by eating or drinking from a doggie bowl. In some of the more serious settings, other accessories can be obtained, such as a puppy cage, a butt-plug with a doggie tail, a hood with puppy ears, and many other objects.

Fetishism

Another important aspect of SM play is fetishism. Amongst the most popular fetishes include leather, rubber, and uniforms. Other popular fetishes may include PVC or plastic, underwear or jock straps, blue collar workers, or boots - just to name a few.

Leather is, perhaps, the most common. Leathersex is a synonym for SM. The common dress-code for most SM clubs or bars include most forms of leather. (However, quite often they also include rubber and uniforms as well.)Rubber or latex clothing is also associated with the SM community. While it may not be as common as Leather, it is still very prevalent.

Acceptable uniforms may include anything from police, security, fireman's uniforms, or military uniforms from the more dressy uniforms to the camouflage BDUs. Sometimes other uniforms such as boy scout uniforms, or the brown UPS (United Parcel Service) uniforms may be acceptable (however not always.) Other uniforms (cooks uniforms, company uniforms, Airlines, etc...) are generally not acceptable, unless they have something specific to do with the planned scene or situation. Obviously, if you are planning a Flight Attendant and businessman fantasy with someone, one may wear a business suit while the other is wearing an airline uniforms. If you are unsure of weather or not a certain uniform would be appropriate, it's always best to ask.

Flogging & Whipping & Spanking

Whipping and/or flogging is simply the act of beating another person with a whip, flogger, or cat o' nine tails. This is a form of pain play, and is not for everyone. Most people are whipped or flogged on their backsides anywhere between the buttock and the shoulders. (Although, technically one can be flogged on any part of the body.)

Spanking can be done with any sort of paddle, or from any other kind of similar device such as a wooden spoon, a ping-pong paddle.... The buttocks is the most common area spanked is the buttock. Because of the forces used in spanking, it's best to avoid the back because this could injure the spine leading to medical complications.

Watersports & Scat

Watersports is another common SM activity. Now, before you start thinking about sport diving or playing water polo, those have nothing to do with what we're talking about. Those who play with watersports are playing with urine. piss. Some people prefer to drink the substance, others just want to be pissed on.

If you're the kind of person who thinks this is gross, don't worry - there are a lot of people who will agree with you. You're in good company. Slightly rarer than watersports is what's known as scat. And, before you start thinking of Lena Horne or some other Scat Jazz singer, what we're talking about has nothing to do with that. People into scat are into human feces. Crap. Shit. And just like watersports, this sort of thing just isn't for everyone.

Body Modification

Another fairly common element with SM play involved body modification. In most cases, this involves either piercing (such as the nipples, cock, or in this day and age, pretty much any body part you can hang jewelry) or tattooing. In SM relationships, this is often done as a symbol of commitment (such as getting the Master's name tattooed onto the slave, or getting similar nipple rings.) Other times, it can be done simply for ornamental or decorative purposes.

Temporary piercing is also popular with some Leatherfolk. This isn't usually recommended for the complete novice, unless you are playing with someone with more experience because of safety concerns which should be fairly obvious.

Other Forms Of Play

This was not intended to be a complete list of SM activities, but rather something to give you a few of the basics. It would also be good advice to approach more advanced things with a more advanced partner. Your personal safety should be one of your first concerns.

© Corky McGraw; 2005